The Red Bull Catastrophe
by condesce
Summary: Red Bull gives you wings! And, as usual, it's America's fault. / Crack-fic USUK


Another boring day, another boring meeting.

Another boring speech from the King of boring himself.

America sighed and listened to England drone on and on... and on about his ideas and he just wished the man had a mute button or something. That would make the day so much better.

The American nation started at the other and pretended he was listening. He felt his eyelids droop and his lolling off to one side. Sleep sounded so good right now...

"America! Pay attention!"

"Huh! What?" he jumped a little and with wide eyes he looked around the meeting room. England was glaring at him.

"You're so rude sometimes..." he sighed then took his place again. He'd finished his talk, but obviously didn't like the idea of America not caring.

"Whatever..." America sighed and rested his head on his arms as Russia stood to present his own ideas. England sighed again and politely listened to the large nations ideas.

The meeting passed rather slowly and America almost jumped for joy when Germany finally concluded the meeting.

He looked over to his former guardian and noticed the tired look on his face.

"Hey England, you okay there?"

England blinked and looked over at him, "Ah, yes... I'm quite alright. I didn't get much sleep though, which would explain why I'm feeling rather sluggish..."

"Tired, huh?" America thought for a moment then the perfect idea hit him. It was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant and he was the hero!

"Hey England!"

"Yes?"

"Here!" he threw a silver can at the island nation, who fumbled with it for a moment before looking at it curiously. He turned the can over and read the label.

"Red Bull?"

"Yeah! It's an energy drink! It does what it says!"

"So I drink this and I'll have... energy?" England asked sceptically. He looked at the ingredients list and wrinkled his nose at the amount of caffeine that was included in this drink. Typical America though...

America nodded, "It'll make you not tired!"

"Well thank you, but I think you need this more than me..." England stated with a scowl. America just flapped his hand and waved the statement away with a beaming smile.

"Nah! I'm good now. You take it and behold its wonders!"

England, deciding he had nothing to lose, opened the can and took a small sip. The liquid tasted sweet on his lips, and he could almost feel the sugar and caffeine surge through his bloodstream.

"See, it's good huh?" America smiled, seeing the expression of his former caretaker.

"It's... bearable..." England shrugged and took another small sip. He would never admit this out loud, least of all to America, but he actually liked the drink. It did make a change from tea, and don't you think for one second that he thought this was better than tea! No way!

America accompanied England out of the conference room, happy that the other had accepted his drink. He was sure England would appreciate it when he was done. He smiled heroically to himself. England would LOVE him after this!

What he didn't expect, was England to drop the empty can looking like he'd just seen a ghost. America cautiously approached him and asked slowly, "Iggy... you okay there?"

England didn't reply. All of a sudden there was a small popping sound as a pink cloud engulfed the smaller nation. America jumped back in fright and watched the spectacle unfold before his eyes.

The smoke faded away and America felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his head as they were so wide. England was standing there in nothing but a white toga, which just about covered his ass. There was a small golden halo which was situated above his blond hair and if that didn't shock America enough, the white feathery wings attached to his back did just that.

England looked down at himself in pure horror then glanced up at America.

"You..."

"England, wait-"

"You did this to me!" he shrieked, pointing at him, "Change me back!"

"Huh? I don't even know what happened!"

"Liar!"

"England, I really don't know what happened!" America insisted. He noticed in England's hand was a thin wand with a bright star on the end. The younger then had an idea.

"Hey! You know magic! Change yourself back!"

England looked down at the wand then gave it a wave. Nothing happened.

America backed away as the older nation started to see red. He slowly followed the other blond and hissed, "America..."

"Yes England?" he replied, his voice slightly higher than usual.

"I... am going to bloody kill you!" he ran for him.

"Eek!" America jumped and hurried away from his positively enraged ally. He ran as fast as he could, and he knew that England couldn't catch up. He was too old, after all.

America obviously forgot about England's other advantage. The other nation flapped his wings and eventually got himself off the ground. America looked back in sheer horror at the other nation zooming towards him.

"Get back here!"

"Nooooo!"

England flapped his wings a little harder, thus increasing the speed and he flew faster at the other nation. Oh he was so determined to rip his head off!

America somehow managed to trip over a rock and England didn't expect that, so he reacted too late and both of them tumbled to the floor.

England landed on America in a rather... ahem, embarrassing position of straddling him while he lay on his back.

America groaned then when he looked up at his former guardian, he smiled a goofy smile and stated, "Huh... I guess red bull really does give you wings!"

"America!"

* * *

><p>AN: Just a little one shot requested by someone on dA.

It'll be funnier for those who are familiar with the Red Bull ad. if you haven't seen I suggest you take a look on youtube or something~

That'll be all ^^

~Iggy :)


End file.
